I have always tried to live in such a way that when the time comes for me to enter the twilight of my life I will be able look back and say I would do it all again. Of course, with the knowledge and wisdom that age and experience bring we may look back at events in our lives and think how we would handle them differently based on what we know now, but that is as things ought to be, an indication of personal growth and learning rather than a source of regret.
When relationships break down it is easy to be filled with regrets, to think about the words that we could have said and the things that we could have done differently. At times amidst the raw pain of separation regrets can be all that we seem to have, and we can scramble around frantically in our minds looking for the things that we can say or do now to make a difference, words and deeds that could somehow turn back the tide and make things right.
At the realisation of a relationship’s end we can be torn between thoughts, to fight or to accept, to hold on or to let go, to keep in touch or to break away completely. There are no firm rights or wrongs, we can only do our best amongst the rising tide of our emotions to ride the wave that feels best at that time, especially when we know the journey will be difficult whichever choice we make.
And having made difficult decisions it is inevitable that we shall look back and question the wisdom of our choices, allow regrets to seep in and to infect our thoughts. And how we act in these turbulent times is one of the challenges that we face on our way to a better future. Because in the end we need to be able to look ourselves in the mirror, to be able to walk tall with our dignity and self-respect intact. There are things we may need to say and do to bring closure, one way or the other. And when we do so, amidst our hurt and confusion we must strive to be true to our higher principles, to follow the course that feels right in our heart, with sincere intent, without fear, and without wishing to cause hurt to others.
In The Masterplan Noel Gallagher of Oasis sings,
“Take the time to make some sense
Of what you want to say
And cast your words away upon the waves
Sail them home with acquiesce
On a ship of hope today”
In saying what we need to say we leave ourselves emotionally raw, swaying between the hope that things can be different and the fear of facing what we have lost and having to accept that we will have to find a way to move on and let go. But in being true to ourselves when we act, in acting out of love and not fear, in being prepared to accept whatever outcome knowing that whatever happens we did our best, then we will find our peace and one way or another we will move on to what life has in store for us next.
Sometimes our best isn’t enough to get us what we want, and at those times acceptance can be difficult to come by. But find it we will, because as long as we are true to ourselves we will always be moving towards a better future.
Soundtrack: The Masterplan – Oasis